Sweet n' Sour

-I'm glad the church seemed to lessen it's stance on gays.

-I hate that I'm expected to feel grateful for their support for my rudimentary rights.

-I'm astonished that people really do think I'm out to destroy their families.

-I'm happy my family has the church and what it does for them.

-I'm sorry the church has my family and what it does to them.

-I like living in Utah.

-I hate living in Utah.

-I admit to a bit of schadenfreude towards the church. To them, it must be like living a real-life Battlestar Galactica. Wait, you're a cylon?! The whole time you were a cylon?!!

Sudden LDS Support?!

Here's the story.

Here's the best response I've read.

Thank you LDS church. I'm eagerly awaiting my Right to Breathe Oxygen Card in the mail.

Maine: Fighting back.

Organizations such as the National Organization for Marriage were at the core of Prop 8 getting passed in California last year. The same organizations were also at work in Maine this year spreading unreasoned fear and bigotry, and they were successful again.

This is our second high-profile defeat in a year. What can we do? Bitch about in our blogs? Twitter our disapproval? Sigh a little deeper for the next week and then get on with our oppressed lives?

Maybe a good question is what separates our side from their side? What are they doing that we're not? It's not a matter of passion. Both sides are pretty equal when it comes to that.

The cruel fact about this fight is the other side has almost inexhaustible resources and seems poised to give everything they have to ensure victory. Tell me, how many members of the church would gladly mortgage their homes to help fund this fight if the church asked them? Probably many thousands, at least.

It's about MONEY ladies and gent's.

MONEY makes the commercial spots, buys the TV time, pays the professional signature gatherers, and feeds and waters the masses of volunteers going door to door spreading fear and uncertainty. Money pays the consultants and lawyers who help keep these organizations behind cloaks of secrecy.

What can we do?

Meet Reed Cowan. He's the director of the upcoming documentary 8: The Mormon Proposition. He has mortgaged his home in his efforts to get this important movie ready for release next year.

One of the subjects 8TMP tackles is this issue over organizations (such as NOM) formed to work against marriage equality. In this documentary, Reed reveals, conclusively, the Mormon church as THE major organizer, funder, and general puppet-master behind many of these organizations.

Why is this important? If the general populous knew it was largely the Mormon church behind the TV spots and door-to-door campaigns then it's likely they'd think twice about the propaganda these organizations are shilling.

Film making is expensive. The documentary is basically done but there are many things such as digital mastering, sound editing, animations, advertising, etc. that will help make it world-class.

His goal is to raise $50,000 by December 1st; a paltry sum in terms of movie budgets.

If you're angry and frustrated like I am and want to do something meaningful in this fight, visit Reed's blog and help fight back by donating what you can to help finish this film. Click the "ChipIn" button at the left of the screen of his blog. You can also access the donating widget directly here.

You can also visit the movie's website to learn more about the film.

Change.

Lately my responses to other people's blogs have been getting a little long. This post started as a response to Abelard's recent posting titled "Faith and Desire".

Ah, the mind games...

Q: If I have the desire to want to desire, then will God grant me the desire I seek?

A: Why not? Isn't that a righteous desire, to want to desire to have faith?

Think of Alma's experiment on faith when he compared the word of God to a seed:

"... yea, even if ye can no more then desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words." Alma 32:27

From a faith standpoint It's not too shabby a thing to want to desire to believe.

Of course, desiring to believe is only a beginning. The idea is that doing so will lead to some change; whether that's as simple as increased solidarity to the church, or as real as carving a temple out of granite.

As far as applying that formula to not being gay anymore: In my experience, after decades of intense faith+desire+fasting+temple attendance, and years of counseling+therapy; there WAS a major change, but it wasn't the one I originally was shopping for. I left the church.

Personally, my favorite description of change comes from Angels in America. Mary-Louise Parker plays the role of Harper, a Valium-addicted Mormon housewife who's husband is gay. In this scene she's visiting her faithful mother-in-law (played by Meryl Streep) at the local LDS Visitors Center in New York City. Streep is setting up a diorama about the pioneers but steps out of the room leaving Harper alone with the diorama, when this happens: